Addicted To My Potential

So my doctor asks me if I have any addictions.
“Yeah!”, I say. “Sugar. And my own potential.”

I’m at my doctor today. We’ve known each other for ten years. We’re having a conversation about Copper dominance – that is when your Copper is too high in relation to your Zinc. Copper is considered the ‘feminine mineral’ and it’s really good thing to have in the right measure. We’ll save that conversation for another day. Suffice to say for now, too much Copper can cause depression, behavioural issues, addictions etc and it seems mine is a little too high!
So my doctor asks me if I have any addictions. “Yeah!”, I say. “Sugar. And my own potential.” He looked at me strangely. I continue:
“I recognised a few years back I am addicted to realising my own potential. I have this relentless desire to manifest my soul’s purpose during this lifetime.”  I explain this to my doctor and immediately his eyes go wide. Then he asks “Is that a problem then?”
“Well, yes it is if you can’t enjoy the moment; ever feel complete or satisfied with what you’ve achieved; when you’re always questing towards some future moment in time when life will look like a moving picture of your divine self. (Hear the angels sing at this point!).” So that stopped him asking any more about my addictions!

The Soul Can Be Relentless
The soul can be relentless in pushing you to be your true self. We assume because it is our soul speaking, everything it says is ‘gospel’ and must be obeyed. Your soul has no sense of timing or the practicalities of planet earth. That is your ego’s job to navigate such things. You soul can be very forceful through feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction and even physical illness, to push you forward to realise itself/yourself. It can get really ‘trippy’ as you forge forward to improve yourself, create stuff (businesses, art, families, homes, anything really) that will bring forward all your gifts and abilities and create a life that is ‘perfect’.

Our Ego Can Over Identify With Our Soul
Similarly, our ego can get hold of what our soul wants and over-identify with it. We can become inflated with ideas of our future potential, to the exclusion of practicalities, such as roof over head, food on table. In this circumstance of addiction to our potential, our mind can be overtaken with future visions of great lives; greater communities and society; an even a greater world. We can really let our addiction to our future potential turn into a religion – it’s called Evolutionary Spirituality, where we quest to attain higher levels of awareness to help evolve the human race.

It’s All In The Balance
Now, don’t get me wrong. Evolution, growth and creativity are good things and I’m a big fan of moving the species to a place where we are not killing animals, the environment and ourselves. But when realising our own potential and the potential of our species turns every living moment into a quest forward in time to relieve ourselves from this ‘imperfect moment’, we have a problem. When our soul pushes us beyond the practicalities of life; or when we over-identify with our life’s purpose or future potential, then Potentiality has become an addiction.

Thinly Masked Non-Acceptance
Addiction to our potential can be thinly masked non-acceptance of life. It’s great to want to be ‘better’, but not when it’s because you can’t accept where you (or the species) is now. When the addiction gets hold, it can unground you, have you feeling unsatisfied, and empty. Life holds no meaning when addicted, unless, it conforms to your idea of perfect. There is no chance of ‘touching heaven’ when you’re in this state. Similarly, there is no chance of feeling divine, whole or unified, when you are in the grips of this addiction.

Ego and Soul Working Together
You must balance your soul and egos’ desire to realize your potential, so they work together to bring forward your future (and the future of the species) in a balanced way, with the rest of your life, which happens in the ‘Now’.

Heaven Is In This Moment
This is where heaven is. Right here, right now. Potential must be balanced with a love of Now. Yes, the human race is far from perfect, but it’s what we are working with. Heaven is not a future state. It is right here, right now in this imperfect moment and will still great you in your imperfect (still to be realised) state of being!
Don’t let your addiction to your potential rob you of simple joys in the moment or the ability to touch heaven every day. Look at your desire to evolve and grow and make sure it has not become an addiction. An addiction that will drive you bat-shit crazy if you don’t get a handle on it.

Take a deep breath and reassure yourself (all parts of yourself) that all things in your potential will happen in good time!

I’m Megan Williams and I’m An Addict!
I continue to keep a handle on my addiction to my potential. I know it’s got me when I can’t relax into the moment. Then I ask, “What am I not accepting about this moment”. It’s a simple question that grounds me back in the Now and if I stay there long enough, I find heaven.